why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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