How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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