'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I could make wine with my vomit
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
