I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
