Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this boner is exhausting
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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