I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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