I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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