The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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