I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
