I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
