Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
