apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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