clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
