I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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