I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
