I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
