very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
