Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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