you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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