In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
