I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
