he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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