I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
