FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
