Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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