She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
