i permit you to call me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
