how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
And then he peed in my hair
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