my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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