my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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