What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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