thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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