omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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