Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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