anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
