do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
