She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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