summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
