He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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