I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
