After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Found the puke drawer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
