We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
