2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
