Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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