Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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