He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
