So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
