May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
