I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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