is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize